Eleven months waiting for a referral :(
I was very happy to read an email today confirming good news going on over in Ethiopia regarding MOWA and the issuance of letters and court dates; very happy.
There is this small part of me that is feeling a little angry though. Angry that there is something going on that I know absolutely nothing about that is coming between me and my daughter. A delay that I have absolutely nothing to do with but affects my family, our adoption, and most likely will result in us having to renew our homestudy and immigration approval again. This is a small part, this angry part. I don't dwell here, but it's there. I feel guilty for even having this small angry part. I would love not to have it. I remain positive, trusting and faithful, with fleeting moments of gloominess.
I just want to see her face.
My next post won't be so boo-hooish.
My Messy House Mystery
8 years ago
Lots of us out here dying for news... can you share the content of the email you received? I know we would all appreciate it ;)
ReplyDeleteI think you would have to be some kind of crazy person if you weren't feeling those things. It's been a long delay, surrounded by lots of discouraging news and I know how your heart aches for your little girl. Hoping that break comes soon. We waited 13 months for our referral and toward the end I felt like I was cycling through the five stages of grief on a weekly basis. I wrote about it here (http://myfamilymyjourney.blogspot.com/2009/12/on-joy-and-sorrow.html) and it includes a poem that I have always liked about joy and sorrow. Living on the other side of that sorrow now, I can absolutely say that the joy I feel today was worth every minute of that agonizing wait, and is likely deeper for it. Can't wait to celebrate with you when it's your turn!
ReplyDeleteI hear you!!! I am so amazed at how all over the place my emotions can be about the same subject, bringing our daughter home! I go from peace that it will happen in God's timing to worry to sadness to excitement over someday to grief over not now to frustration at the lack of anything I can do to speed things up -- and that all can happen in about 10 minutes time! I think what you said about not dwelling too long in the negative is good. I think we need to let ourselves express/have the tough emotions because this is HARD! Praying for you! So wish we were closer and could really visit over coffee -- I'm still hanging on to hope that will happen, maybe in Ethiopia when we travel to meet our sweet little girls!
ReplyDeleteI'm with Heidi...this painful wait is all totally worth it! I have done the "painful wait" twice with different roads, and honestly the moment she is in your hands that pain and the anger will fade and all that will be left is pure love and happiness...and exhaustion, don't forget about that. ;) Hang in there girl. SOON. SOON. SOON you will see her face. :)
ReplyDeleteI know we don't know each other, but I am also feeling the same way! (Waiting 10 mos.) I am praying for you and your family, that you will receive that phone call soon!! I am ecstatic that there is now movement... I believe it won't be long for you!! :)
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