10 Months

We have been waiting 10 months now for a referral. What a boring post.

Nine Months!

Nine months today on the wait list! Since my last pity party post I have been on a roller coaster of emotions. Some days mad about the long wait. Some days very excited thinking "today is going to be the day". And then some days sad missing a little girl I have yet to meet. We have been talking about "little sister" and "our brown-eyed girl" for so long now that I can almost see her face and I feel her so strong in my heart.

Before my last post I was worried about going on our ski vacation thinking what if we get the call and I'm on a snowboard for the first time on the top of a mountain (a small mountain), and Frank is on a different mountain with the other dads, and Koen is in ski school? How will we ever all get together and run back to the house to get online? What if I fall down the mountain in my mad dash to get to my peeps so we can get our referral? What if there's no reception on the mountain? I had all these crazy thoughts. Then there was my "Nooooooo" post. So the blessing in disguise here is we went on vacation, had an awesome time, and I didn't have to worry about falling down the mountain trying to get to my peeps for our referral. It was a stretch for me to find the positive in this, but I did!

Jackson Hole, Wyoming, was beautiful and VERY cold (negative 17 degrees kind of cold). Great vacation - great timing!

NOOOOOOOO!!!

That is me screaming. I am also crying tears of helplessness and frustration. I know to hang in there, be patient, trust, have faith, but tonight I just want to cry. Scared and a little disheartened tonight. Boo to not-so-good-news-emails.

8 Months

Today is 8 months on the waitlist. I'm not quite as excited as I was last month. I think it's because of the email I read yesterday stating the average wait is now at 9 months. Boo! I shouldn't have convinced myself that December was THE month. It's okay - I know she's close. Patience, patience, patience.

Our Other Little Girl

Back in June, as I was reading my favorite adoption blogs, I came across a post about sponsoring a child from a care point in Ethiopia called Kind Hearts (Children's HopeChest). I immediately emailed a wonderful woman named Karen Wistrom (http://www.family-from-afar.blogspot.com/) and asked to sponsor a child. Her blog is a must read! She, along with 16 others, just visited the care points in Ethiopia and personally delivered care packages that sponsors sent to her for the children. The stories on her blog about the trip will make your heart swell with all kinds of emotions so get your tissues.

Waiting for a picture of a child we were going to be sponsoring was a lot like our waiting for the referral for our daughter! I stalked my email inbox like a crazy woman. And finally one day I see the email caption "Firtuna - Ethiopian Sponsor Child". I seriously screamed in excitement. And then I saw her picture . . .


Look at that sweet little face. She looked so sad to me and I just wanted to scoop her up and tell her how special she is. We have her picture on display in our house and we talk about her everyday as we pray for her. Koen includes her in his prayers and it goes something like this: "and thank you for our two little girls in Eefiopia - my little sister and our other little girl".

Today I received another picture of Firtuna taken as she was holding the pictures of us I sent in her care package. I just love this picture. I want to hug her and smother her with kisses!

There are still children to sponsor so if you feel that tug on your heart like I did please go to Karen's blog. I can't describe how it feels to have this other little girl across the world holding my picture knowing that I care about her. My hope is when we travel to Ethiopia for our daughter we can meet Firtuna in person and I can lay those smooches on her!

SEVEN Months!

Yay! Today we have been waiting seven months for a referral! While waiting has not been fun I am so excited to be nearing the average 8 month wait time! We are a lot closer to getting that referral call today than we were last month, or the month before that. Yay!

Joys and Sorrows

November is a tough month for me emotionally; a month in which I celebrate the birthday of one of my children and mourn the death of my other.

We had a wonderful day celebrating Koen's 4th birthday on November 3rd. His birthday party was at the planetarium and he was surrounded by all his friends and family. All 75 of us. I know - crazy. Who knew a 4 year old could have so many friends?


How cute is he?! Love him!

Then November 6th rolls around and I can barely breathe; the ache in my heart is unbearable.


My joy and my sorrow. No one ever promised one without the other.

(My birthday is also in November - the 27th. And I think my husband has something special planned for us. My husband - another joy.)