Our Referral Call

I can't believe it has been a month since our referral call!  I love, love, love having her pictures everywhere, staring at her, daydreaming about the day we will meet.  Love it.

We waited one year, two months and 4 weeks for our referral.  I'm laughing as I type this because the wait just seems so crazy!  During our phone interview at the beginning of this adoption process we were told the average wait at the time was 4 months for our age range.  I never imagined all the changes that would take place over the next 15 months.

At this point in our wait every day I would say to myself "this is the day" and I'd also say "this is not the day - it's never the day".  I was in this emotional tug of war with myself; wanting to be excited to get the call but not wanting to be excited so I wouldn't be so devastated at the end of the day when the call didn't come.  I did this tug of war for about two months.  I stopped obsessing over my cell phone.  I stopped charging the camcorder.  I stopped carrying my laptop with me just in case I would have to go to the hospital to meet Frank.  I wanted to talk to people about how I was feeling but I didn't want to talk about it.  I was moving forward day to day but trapped inside this wait.

Wednesday morning, July 20, was like most other mornings.  I kissed Frank on his way out.  Read blogs over coffee.  I got dressed for the gym.  Koen and I had breakfast and watched cartoons.  I never made it to the gym and it was almost time for lunch and Koen was still in his pjs.  We just couldn't get ourselves ready for the day.

At 12:15 pm my cell phone rings.  I casually stroll over to pick it up NEVER expecting it to be the call.  And I see 817.  Poor Natalie.  I don't even think she got to say hello.  I screamed at her "Is this it!"  "Is this the call?"  And when I say screamed I mean screamed.  My excitement was uncontrollable.  Jumping, screaming, crying.  I could not believe it.  I look back at my phone log and see I was on the call for over 2 minutes with Natalie which means she listened to me scream "oh my gosh" for about 2 minutes.  I remember hearing her laugh.  I asked her 2 questions amidst all the screaming: when can Frank and I call you back? and how old is she?

I really had a hard time collecting myself.  I had to call Frank!  I had to get dressed!  I had to get the camcorder!  I had to get Koen dressed!  But I couldn't stop screaming and jumping up and down, and crying, thanking God over and over.  Koen was so excited too.  He kept saying "we're so proud right mommy?"  So stinking sweet.

I called Frank.  Voice mail - No!  I called back - voice mail again!  I paged him 911.  Koen and I ran upstairs to get dressed.  I grabbed my cell and house phone and called my best friend Karen - voice mail!  I was losing my mind.  She called me right back.  I screamed at her we were getting the call and I needed to get dressed but couldn't do it.  I must have been a crazy site.  Frank calls back and I scream some more - he has to come home right now and I tell him our little girl is 19 months old.  He screams back "I'm coming!"  Thankfully, it was his half day.  He was supposed to be heading to a dentist appointment so in the middle of all this excitement I had to find the phone number for the dentist and scream at them that he's not coming because we are "getting the call!"  I'm sure they thought I was a crazy person. 

I finally managed to get myself and Koen dressed, find the camcorder and set it up, and wait for Frank to get home.  This all happened in about 13 minutes.  A wonderful, crazy 13 minutes.  One might equate my excitement with someone who just won a 246 billion dollar lottery, but it was so much better than that.  I was about to see my little girl and this moment was priceless; a moment I was only able to dream about until now.

As soon as Frank got home I called Natalie and got her voice mail - NO!  A little more screaming.  She called back within a few minutes and we were ready.  I kept hitting the refresh button willing her email to come through quickly.

The most beautiful face filled the computer screen.  Tears flowed.  In that instant the grueling 15 month wait disappeared, like it never even happened.  We had 25 beautiful pictures of our little girl.  When we heard her name for the first time we loved it.  When we heard the meaning of her name we cried.  Redemption. 

This little girl was chosen for us and us for her.  Of this I have no doubt.  The day our daughter Sophia was born still, already an angel in heaven, my pastor cried with me and told me I may never understand why but I needed to accept that this was God's plan for her.  His plan for me - 2 years and 10 months later - a beautiful little girl half way around the world.  A little girl whose name means rebirth, rescue, atonement.  Tears. Big tears. 

Natalie asked if we would like more time to look over all the detailed paperwork.  No!  We accepted the referral right then.  We knew what we needed to know.  We were meant to be.

We spent the next few hours calling everyone we knew to share the best news ever.  We ran to Target to print out all her pictures and buy brag books to place them in; so excited to show off the newest Politzer.  We celebrated with dinner at Addissu - our favorite Ethiopian restaurant.

So a month later and we are staring at her pictures, daydreaming about the day we will meet her.  She is already so much a part of our lives.  Koen asks almost every day "can we go get little sister today?"  Soon.  I hope soon.

I hope to share the video we took receiving our referral.  I am not sure how to upload a video and I need to mute a few things you can hear Natalie say about little B.  It's a must-see video.  I look like a mess, lots of tears, Koen is all over the place, a definite must-see :)